3.11.2003 No Flirting Dream
"...had this really weird dream," Elizabeth mumbled as we laid in bed, "I'm proud of myself actually. There was this doctor guy. Oh he was so handsome, and he was flirting with me at this party, and I didn't fall for his..."
"Was I in the picture?" I asked.
"Yes, but completely on the other side of the room."
She noticed my uneasiness, "Okay, but if you’re ever in the same scenario, you’d have to do the same."
"Alright." I turned my head over and feigned snoring for a couple of seconds, and alertedly snapped awake.
Elizabeth asked, "You Ok?..."
"Yeah, I just sort of dosed off..."
"Well, still tired and all, and I guessed I just sort of dosed off..."
"...Just like that... Just dosed off?"
"Yes, and I just had this really weird dream."
"Yeah, well, I was selected to star in this movie with Tom Cruise. MI-3 I think it was. Strange, but neat. Tom's a real perfectionist and we didn't really get along—it being my first time working as an actor. Oh well. He's really actually shorter in real life, but nonetheless, the movie came out pretty good. I was actually nominated for an Oscar for best male supportive actor, which rubbed Tom the wrong way, but hey, what can I say?
So, there I was on the red carpet at the Academy Awards all decked out in some sleek Armani suit. I found myself surprisingly alone. I didn't know where you were. I sort of panicked and started hopping up and down looking for you in all directions. Of all people, Joan Rivers noticed me, and swiftly she and her camera crew swarmed around me. I continued looking for you. She started asking me questions that I just ignored. I started to call out your name and ask if anyone has seen you. Ashley Judd noticed and rushed over to try and calm me down. She's actually taller in person. I got the feeling though, that she was actually trying to flirt with me. It felt sort of strange.
At this instant, in the midst of all the limos pulling up, I saw a NYC cab. I rushed over to it and there you were. I swung my arm out, you clutched on, and we walked up the carpet together."
"I'm sort of really proud of myself," I added.
"Peter, you have quite the imagination."
Well, some time has passed and the baby-making venture had sort of just went by the way side. By the way, all that flurry of activity previously mentioned started about two summers ago. We've been trying off and on ever since. At times, more persistently than others. I have to admit, it has been difficult. We attended the baby witch doctor for another cycle, but it just seemed to have diminishing returns. And oddly enough, something about it just didn't seem right going to that doctor—he seemed to be more interested in the money, rather the treatment after a while.
The months following, we started getting busy again with our careers and schoolwork and life continued as usual. Consistently though, we would revisit our conversations of starting a family, how to have kids, what we would name them if we had some, etc.., Of course, there was always the helpless air of being somewhat defective parents. I never believed anything was actually *wrong* with Elizabeth, but of course, she did. Filled with the pity of self-blame Elizabeth would sometimes mention how it would be all right for me to seek another wife to bear my children. She said she would understand. Whether this was a test or not, it was still difficult to listen to. I would of course, reassure her that this is not what is the important factor in our marriage, and we'll seriously try again when the time awards itself. This is just how things are sometimes, and that's all right.
Several months had passed and while Elizabeth is at work, she gets wind of another fertility doctor who has a decent reputation. This one is located a little bit a ways, in Queens, but he accepts our health insurance, so on the affordability side, this is a good thing.
So, we'll see.