Enough about me... let's talk more about me

7.3.2003 AC Swap

Sorry haven't been in touch lately. Just been so busy. It's been so hot too, I know ? really too hot. Well, they say it's the humidity y'know? It just makes it worse.

And our air conditioner unit in the bedroom has just been misbehaving. I know. I know. At least we have an air conditioner. I should be grateful. Believe me, I know, I didn't really grow up with one--our family didn't have a unit until I was into my teens. I?ve spent many sticky summers growing up in New York. Nothing like feeling the stickiness of your own skin.

Well, let me tell you though-its just as bad being in a hot and humid room trying to sleep while the air conditioner you spent hard earned money on just the previous year seems to just stream in hot sticky air and proceeds to circulate it around the room. It's just as bad.

On the lighter side however is the environmentally influenced dreams of sauntering on the beach in Maui donning only a pair of swimming trunks on my manly man tanned Adonis-like body ? the hairs of my chest glistening in the sun. Wait. On second thought, I don't have hairs on my chest. I don't even have a tan. And, I wish, but I don't have an Adonis-like body. I was dreaming and I started to realize this, and it really freakin? sucked cause I laid in a pool of sticky sweat while the air conditioner decided to stream more hot humid air into the room.

It's not only me. The other day, I'm sitting there trying to do some work while poor Elizabeth is lying there twitching and sleeping. She's sort of shiny looking (hint-cause it's freakin? hot and humid in the room) and she started mumbling. It was obvious she was having some sort of dream. She started giggling and then yelps out a word, "beach!"

I realize the madding truth when I got up to retrieve something from another room, that the rest of the apartment, with no air conditioning and suffering from the greenhouse effect, feels just so much cooler. The weather outside is 92 degrees, and sunny with high humidity mind you.

I've also come to the realization that we just have an expensive POS that eats up our utility bills (the S in POS stands for 'shit'--thought you would just like to know).

Well, as it turns out, we do have a second AC unit that came with the apartment and it's huge, heavy, and runs deafeningly loud. And, it appears that the thermostat is somewhat broken so it continuously spews out wicked frigid frozen air not knowing when to stop ? I think I opt for the later lesser chilly evil right now. That old AC unit is looking pretty good. Yes, pretty freakin? good.

In my Hulk-like rage, I ripped off my shirt, yanked the electrical cord out of the outlet, and dragged the old AC unit across the lengthy living room on an old Mexican rug that I happened to find in the storage room (okay, it was a well-planned Hulk-like rage. Gotta be a freakin? critic.)

I wound up swapping both AC units and when I was all done, I stood there simmering drenched in my own sweat. But ever since the swap, the bedroom has felt more or less like a walk-in freezer. And yes, we?re smiling from ear to ear.

An unexpected outcome of all of this is that I have this overwhelming feeling of successfully providing for my family ? like the real man that I am. Yes, like a manly man. Look at me, Peter. Peter has brought coolness. Has brought coolness in the time of humid burning heat. When wintertime comes, I will bring warmth, for I am manly man. Ahh.. you get the idea.

(Phrases that may appear to be chauvinistic is purely coincidental. It?s called humor. Lighten up. [smile]).

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...One thing is that no matter how old I am, I probably will not like being called sir or mister, for they have always seemed too far out of reach...




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