11.26.2003 Box Three of Three (Reprise)

"I can only stands so much, and can't stands no more." - Popeye

We've had no real luck with Megan's ordered crib lately -- none whatsoever. Actually, it borders over toward disappointing really. Lately, the phone calls have been more like the following:

"Yeah, this is the guy with the crib? This is Peter ... again."
"... Sorry about this, please hold. I'll go check."

About five minutes later, someone else picks up the phone, "Who were you holding for?"

"Someone was looking into my ordered crib? Box three of three?"
"Yes ... hold on. I'll check."

I'm placed on eternal hold, never to be picked up again. The following day, I would call back and receive a totally different response, but equally as frustrating:

   "Yes, we reordered that part for you, but it's going to come directly to your place. Where you're going to have to install it yourself."
   "But," I said, "I paid for delivery and assembly."
   "That's a third party. I can't help you there."
   "But that's a third party that I paid *you* for, that *you* supplied to deliver *your* product, which *you* also agreed to assemble."
   "Sorry, this is how the reorder process is."
   "This is *not* a reorder. The first one was defective."
   "Umm... hold on. I'll go check."

Sounds sort of pathetic huh? Well, this was pretty much the run of the mill. And my own very special surprise when I actually got to speak to the original salesman:

   "...Peter. I just found out something that you're not going to be happy with."
   "Which is?"
   "They never did order the new part for you. No box three of three."
   Keeping calm, all I can muster at this point was, "What do you suggest we do about this situation at this point?"

Well, about another month passes by with no sight of box three of three. Megan is left sleeping with us in our cozy love nest, and a half built crib on the side. This crib starts fading into the background like some of the other tasks in the background -- but alike a splinter in the foot, it just doesn't rest well.

The situation is that we had to order this crib, for they didn't have it in stock. The store policy is that if we return it for any reason, there is a twenty percent fee of the crib - a restocking fee, they call it. Also, we lose the money we put forth for the delivery and assembly. And to top it off, we have to figure out a way to get this stupid half-built crib back to the store.

I am determined.

The next day, I call the store. I demand to speak to the store manager -- not the manager of the furniture department -- the head honcho, the top cheese. I want results. And, I want them now. Give me my box three of three I demand. Send someone over to set it up. If this is not possible, then I want my money back. All of it. Even the money that I paid you guys for the third party delivery and assembly. Every penny. And I don't care what it takes, send someone over here to get this good for nothing piece of crap out of my apartment now.

He listens to me and genuinely wants to discuss this more.

   "I understand it's the store policy," I reiterate, "I'm fully aware of that. But this does not make it correct."

He wants to talk to the furniture department before discussing the matter further and agrees to call me back. Later that day, he does call and apologetically grants us a full refund, including the money to the third party (every penny) along with the option to pick out another crib where they'll pay for the delivery and assembly.

Bliss you say? Not so fast.

So, Elizabeth and I journey back to the crib oasis and pick out a new crib, which we are told they would have to order. We think about it for about one one-hundreth of a second -- the nightmare flashes again. We decline.

They give us back all the money, every penny.

The following day, we take a trip to Baby Fortunoff, where they advertise as any crib on the floor is in stock. And it goes along with the other merchandise that Fortunoff sells -- higher quality stuff for higher costs, just to keep the customers happy. Elizabeth and I like to go there once in a while. We never actually buy anything, but it's fun to browse. Elizabeth looks to me wondering if it's really alright to get one from here. I tell her sometimes, we just have to. It's okay. Actually, we wanted to get our crib from here originally. We choose one. They deliver it in a couple of days and assemble it.

It's nice. It's simple. Megan loves it.

(We did however, pass on the diamond inlays along the crib railings - shucks).