H o m e . A r c h i v e s . U p d a t e s . E x i t


As I was saying...theft.

We figured the crime rate was pretty low on Maui. People just seemed very innocent, laid back, and friendly. All the tourists though, we were the more uptight ones.

Anyhow, the sun seemed to set a little earlier here compared to the East Coast. The time was about five thirty and the sky was already turning orangey. This is how we knew it was time for dinner. Elizabeth and I were hanging out in the pool, and decided to venture back to our room. This was the second day we had done this for we were done with our touristy tours earlier in the week. There were two things we still wanted to do--she wanted a true Hawaiian dinner, and I wanted some golden Maui pineapple.

We hunkered our prune-soaked bodies out of the water, wrapped ourselves in towels, donned flowery slippers that we would never reveal to anyone else, and proceeded to shuffle our feet back towards the hotel lobby. We continually motioned to each other how wonderful and gorgeous it was here and wouldn't it be wonderful if we could just stay a little bit longer. This was the usual conversation, of course: The tropics have a way of making people say those funny things.

We were so laid back by this time that we had already forgotten about our common lifestyle of hustling and bustling through crowds of people, trying to do this and that, by this time and that time. We were now more concerned about dripping too much on the lobby carpet as we waited for the elevator. We would catch glimpses of ourselves in a passing mirror or two and have to relook just to see if it was us, for we have gotten about three shades darker. My hair, also, was pointing up like a porcupine. But, I really didn't care. I didn't.

We arrived at our floor, and for the second day in a row, there was this pineapple display mounted on this table in the hall. It was possibly put here as a display of something to purchase in one of the shops downstairs, but we really didn't know. The displayed pineapple was surrounded by other assorted fruit and was laid over a bed of old ice, which was now water. But it was a genuine pineapple--probably all sweet and juicy and true to its legendary roots and tales.

We waited for the elevator doors to close behind us, forgoing any witnesses, and for the first time, I eyed the corners of the ceiling to see if there were any cameras--none. We looked both sides up the halls and there was no one around.

     "You think we should?" I hovered near the display as I asked Elizabeth.
     "I..." seeming a little bewildered by my suggestion she hesitated, "...I don't know."
     We both looked up the hallways in both directions, and it was quiet, too quiet.
     "We're being set up..." I wondered out loud, "Entrapment, doncha think?"
     "...I don't know..." her voice lingered slightly.

Seizing the moment, I knew it was now or never, I snatched the thorny looking pineapple, attempting to tuck it under the towel draped over me, pricking me a little--instead, I snatched it with both arms extended in front of me, I started trotting up the hall towards our room. The trail seemed to go on forever and I thought I heard doors opening behind me. I could hear the scream of someone exclaiming me as a thief. Possibly a little boy or girl I thought, pointing me out squealing. But it wasn't. It was just the hysterical laughter of Elizabeth trotting just a few paces behind me.

I couldn't believe we were doing this, I just couldn't. Step after step. My slippers were about to bust. It seemed like forever, but we finally reached our room. The only problem was that the room key was in my pocket and both my hands were holding this pineapple. There we stood in a panic, with towels half draped over our dripping bodies, me with porcupine hair, holding this pineapple with both hands, not being able to figure out how to open this door.

At the same moment, I tried handing the pineapple to her as she reached for the key in my pocket. Then, she went for the pineapple instead as I shifted my butt toward her so she could get the key.

Anyhow, moments later we were huffing and puffing and lounging in our room with the pineapple on the counter <smile>

Later, we went out for an authentic Hawaiian dinner.

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original pic by Peter Knight