ne of my favorite things to do throughout my teenage years was to pretend I was this world renowned  Rock-n-Roll superstar and perform a concert to a huge sold out audience.  There were times I would rush home and play an album on the stereo (LP records in those days), and mimic being either the singer, guitarist, bassist, or drummer or any combination of these.  You see, I was the superstar and I was capable of playing all these instruments at once:  I was also super-talented.  In reality, I was a mediocre guitar player and thought that playing fast was the way to go.  Anyway, I would set up the "stage" with a broomstick as a microphone stand, and strapped my imitation Fender Stratocaster, Hondo brand guitar over my shoulder.  I would begin to perform to the tunes of Led Zeppelin, Ozzy Osbourne, and a series of 80’s Heavy Metal bands.  I would continue this to the extent where I was drenched in sweat, all huffing and puffing, as I know today to be an aerobic state.

The weirdest thing happened one night.  It was a sold out show; as usual.  I had just finished playing one of the most energetic songs of the century that contained an all out guitar solo.  That took a lot of energy.  The crowd was roaring.  I had worked up such a sweat that I had to remove my shirt.  The girls in the crowd were going wild.  They were throwing their undergarments up on the stage and there were so many that stagehands had to step in and collect them (Hey, it was my fantasy, okay?)  The lights dimmed.  I unstrapped my guitar from my shoulder, placed it down, grabbed the microphone, and stepped toward the front of the stage.  The crowd roared even more.  The audience lit up their lighters and held them up high for all to see.  It was like a sea of stars.  I sat down at the edge of the stage.  I knew this drove the girls wild.  And, the next song started.  It was the most romantic and tear jerking song that Ozzy Osbourne had called "Goodbye to Romance."

I really got into this.  I sat there swaying back and forth with my eyes closed.  As the song finished, I can hear the roar of the audience increase.  At this moment, I knew that the right thing to do was to get up and rush to the back of the stage and retrieve my guitar for the next song.  What I found instead was my sister and her boyfriend standing at stage right, watching me.

To the present day, I still cringe when I think about this. 


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