Suspicious Ma
I believe that all mothers are suspicious characters. Do not misunderstand me. I love my mother, and she sure does have a suspicious nature when it comes to me. Everything has to have an evil plotted motive behind it. Actually, its pretty funny to watch her in action sometimes.
Here is some background information to understand the full effect. My mother grew up in China. Her and my father married and moved to New York City about thirty-five years ago. From the time I was in the second grade until I moved away to college, we lived in a neighborhood that had mixed cultural influences. Two of these influences happen to be Italian and Jewish. And, I am sure that some of that has rubbed off on her a little bit.
Here is a list of things that I have endured through the years:
- I was the geekiest, most nerdiest kid in grammar school. She wondered if I was on drugs.
- I was friends with a Jewish boy in class when I was younger. She wondered if I was in an ethnical gang.
- I started seeing a lot of girls. She wondered if I was gay.
- I grew to a hundred twenty pounds at a height of five foot seven. She wondered if I was on steroids.
- I then started working out and gained some considerable weight. She wondered if I was on heroin.
I guess I am a homosexual who has an expensive drug habit, running around in Jewish gangs, with a steriod filled muscular body in remission. Ma, if you are reading this. I love you. And I need to say, "Don't worry. I didn't use the same needles for both the steroids and the heroin." Just kidding ma. I love you.
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